Definitely exhaustion.
I've been to bed by 8 pm twice this week and I still don't feel like I've caught up. Doesn't help that the Drama Queen has been waking up and wailing at 4am the last couple nights consistently. She was a total pain in the ass today at daycare too -- Tasha's never been that detailed in all the jackass things she's done all day. I got in DQ's face about that immediately and told her in no uncertain terms that she was not to behave that way ever, and if she did I was going to tell Tasha to call me at work and that I would come HELP her behave. Made me feel like the boss with the hat in Cool Hand Luke ("You got your mind RIGHT there boy?") -- which of course made me feel like shit, but she can't get away with acting like that. She may be channeling my mother-in-law, but damned if I have to let her get off scot free for it.
I haven't been feeling right for a couple weeks, but it seems to be getting worse. Not sleeping right, feeling exhausted and at the end of my rope most of the time... I'm wondering if this is temporary or if I should consider going back on the meds. I can't think of anything specific that ought to be sending me over the edge, but maybe it's a lot of little things that I'm not giving enough credit to. Sure sign something's up -- not looking forward to my birthday in the least, and I would be more than happy to ignore the occasion completely. I usually want at least a couple nice cards and a nice dinner to look forward to, and the family always makes sure to send a couple nice gifts ... but I just don't care about any of that at all this year. It's strange to feel this way again (happened last year when we were constantly in crisis over the MOL), but this time without the impending doom and absolute focus on everything else going on.
Maybe I just need some peace.
That's been sorely lacking for a long time. We haven't had one holiday in the last few years that wasn't overtaken by the raging internal family dramas.
Maybe I just need some quiet time to recharge.
That's mostly what I had in Vegas last year (good thing -- if it hadn't been for that trip I would have been a complete disaster when it counted). Doesn't look like that will happen anytime soon though. Maybe I will get some peace in Louisiana ... taking the kids out in the kayak to see the dolphins in the mornings and evenings ... there's hope.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Are We Done With the Damn Snow Yet?
Bitch, bitch, bitch. I don't mind the snow, really -- I mind the rain, sleet and sneet that compacted that nice fluffy powder into the glacial ice pack that has been my driveway for the last couple days. Hubby broke a shovel handle and gouged both hands before switching to the heavy-duty metal garden shovel (and then giving up soon after). The sun is starting to take care of it but it looks like we might get more frigid crap tonight. Good thing Big Bertha is as heavy as she is or I'd never get her wide load ass out of the driveway. Hope this is the last big winter storm.
We took the kids sledding over in Byram park yesterday, and had a blast. We went all the way down the big hill over and over -- what wild rides! The Drama Queen was busy channeling Danica Patrick, and The Boy was thrilled too. The weather yesterday was wonderful, just warm enough to be comfortable outside without turning everything into a slushy mess on the hill.
Our St. Patrick's Day was full of family, godparents and birthday cake for The Boy. He has been having so much fun with the lightsabers and his Harry Potter getup ... and we keep switching between the Star Wars dvds and the Harry Potter ones. I'm almost afraid he's going to start asking what Obi Wan teaches at Hogwarts.
Auntie Mame's visit went very well. Picked her up at the airport, and she came for dinner and saw the kids. The Boy went running and jumping into her arms! The Drama Queen gave her a bit of the stink-eye before she warmed up, but we taught her to say "Uncle Wome is in I-Wack," and she got a little smiley. It was so nice to have Mamie here... and it was physically painful to watch her leave. I miss her much more than I'm willing to admit to myself most of the time. I am looking forward to going south to visit the Redneck Relations next month. It'll be the first big family trip since we went to Mexico for Wome and Mame's wedding, so we'll see how we do as a traveling circus.
One more weekend of birthday hoohah (Charlie and The Boy both on Saturday, then Hubby on Monday). Then we can breathe. Once again, I feel like I just don't give a rat's left asscheek about my birthday this year (38? So what???). We'll be down south for it, and I already told Auntie JurisD that I don't give a shit and we can skip my birthday entirely ... I'm just happy to be somewhere different. We'll see if she listens. I don't have much hope of that, as she doesn't have a history of doing that unless things are completely removed from her control, and since we're going to HER house, that's pretty much an impossibility.
Work sucks. What else is new. We got a bunch of new books (Spend the money! Don't let them take it back!!!), and that is going to keep me occupied for a while.
We took the kids sledding over in Byram park yesterday, and had a blast. We went all the way down the big hill over and over -- what wild rides! The Drama Queen was busy channeling Danica Patrick, and The Boy was thrilled too. The weather yesterday was wonderful, just warm enough to be comfortable outside without turning everything into a slushy mess on the hill.
Our St. Patrick's Day was full of family, godparents and birthday cake for The Boy. He has been having so much fun with the lightsabers and his Harry Potter getup ... and we keep switching between the Star Wars dvds and the Harry Potter ones. I'm almost afraid he's going to start asking what Obi Wan teaches at Hogwarts.
Auntie Mame's visit went very well. Picked her up at the airport, and she came for dinner and saw the kids. The Boy went running and jumping into her arms! The Drama Queen gave her a bit of the stink-eye before she warmed up, but we taught her to say "Uncle Wome is in I-Wack," and she got a little smiley. It was so nice to have Mamie here... and it was physically painful to watch her leave. I miss her much more than I'm willing to admit to myself most of the time. I am looking forward to going south to visit the Redneck Relations next month. It'll be the first big family trip since we went to Mexico for Wome and Mame's wedding, so we'll see how we do as a traveling circus.
One more weekend of birthday hoohah (Charlie and The Boy both on Saturday, then Hubby on Monday). Then we can breathe. Once again, I feel like I just don't give a rat's left asscheek about my birthday this year (38? So what???). We'll be down south for it, and I already told Auntie JurisD that I don't give a shit and we can skip my birthday entirely ... I'm just happy to be somewhere different. We'll see if she listens. I don't have much hope of that, as she doesn't have a history of doing that unless things are completely removed from her control, and since we're going to HER house, that's pretty much an impossibility.
Work sucks. What else is new. We got a bunch of new books (Spend the money! Don't let them take it back!!!), and that is going to keep me occupied for a while.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Random Updates
Auntie Mame is coming Monday for a brief dinnertime stopover, as she's coming from Austin up to Hartford for a 1-day job, then on to Toronto. The Boy and the Drama Queen are pretty excited! If the weather's decent we'll grill steaks, if it's lousy we'll get takeout.
The Boy's birthday is next weekend, and we're having a family party (read: have the cousins over and play and have cupcakes), then the "real" party is the following weekend. For some reason, Hubby thought it was a good idea to book a music party (fine) in Wilton (????). I have no idea if people will actually be willing to go that far for a birthday party. Guess we'll find out.
Went to the show-and-tell for the Other School. Lots of good info on class sizes, curriculum and staffing, and I think The Boy would do well there. Hubby was predictably racist and stubborn: "I don't want him going to school with a bunch of blacks and Puerto Ricans." We're still battling this one out. We'll see if he gets in and then we'll have the showdown. I think if we did send him there, it would change Hubby's mind (at least to some degree). He's got what he remembers from high school in his head -- when the kids there were the lowest performing and least able students, and also the most troublesome. The school is very different now than it was then, esp with the new principal. She's one tough, organized lady.
I'm done with the first draft of the district summer reading website, and am updating author lists and working on the brochure version as suggestions come in. Got a couple new banners done for the genre pages, and they look better than the old ones. Still waiting to get final copy from the LA dept on the intro letter and assignment. Eeyore was annoying about that. Everything I do she comes up and announces she will do it too. I told her flat out no on the summer reading business -- I probably would have given her the brochure part of it had I not been so aggravated that she had assumed that she could do half my booktalks this entire week. I let that go this week, but we are going to have to have a sit-down this coming week and discuss division of responsibilities because this "if you're doing it I should get to do part of it too" crap is annoying the shit out of me. I'm not a particularly territorial person, but I feel like Eeyore is up my ass most of the time and my patience is coming to the end.
I also volunteered for one session of summer work, helping the LA dept revise and update the core books/reading lists. That will be difficult to say the least. Trying to get that group to agree on anything new is usually like stopping the earth from rotating. Hopefully there will be enough younger teachers on the committee who are willing to look at newer stuff. There are a few teachers (mostly from Wonderland) who would be total stick-in-the-muds about everything. Maybe they'll be on vacation.
The Boy's birthday is next weekend, and we're having a family party (read: have the cousins over and play and have cupcakes), then the "real" party is the following weekend. For some reason, Hubby thought it was a good idea to book a music party (fine) in Wilton (????). I have no idea if people will actually be willing to go that far for a birthday party. Guess we'll find out.
Went to the show-and-tell for the Other School. Lots of good info on class sizes, curriculum and staffing, and I think The Boy would do well there. Hubby was predictably racist and stubborn: "I don't want him going to school with a bunch of blacks and Puerto Ricans." We're still battling this one out. We'll see if he gets in and then we'll have the showdown. I think if we did send him there, it would change Hubby's mind (at least to some degree). He's got what he remembers from high school in his head -- when the kids there were the lowest performing and least able students, and also the most troublesome. The school is very different now than it was then, esp with the new principal. She's one tough, organized lady.
I'm done with the first draft of the district summer reading website, and am updating author lists and working on the brochure version as suggestions come in. Got a couple new banners done for the genre pages, and they look better than the old ones. Still waiting to get final copy from the LA dept on the intro letter and assignment. Eeyore was annoying about that. Everything I do she comes up and announces she will do it too. I told her flat out no on the summer reading business -- I probably would have given her the brochure part of it had I not been so aggravated that she had assumed that she could do half my booktalks this entire week. I let that go this week, but we are going to have to have a sit-down this coming week and discuss division of responsibilities because this "if you're doing it I should get to do part of it too" crap is annoying the shit out of me. I'm not a particularly territorial person, but I feel like Eeyore is up my ass most of the time and my patience is coming to the end.
I also volunteered for one session of summer work, helping the LA dept revise and update the core books/reading lists. That will be difficult to say the least. Trying to get that group to agree on anything new is usually like stopping the earth from rotating. Hopefully there will be enough younger teachers on the committee who are willing to look at newer stuff. There are a few teachers (mostly from Wonderland) who would be total stick-in-the-muds about everything. Maybe they'll be on vacation.
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