I am having the most horrible, awful wishes about wanting to just get in the truck and drive somewhere --anywhere-- and avoid all Christmas everything. I don't want to wrap presents or bake or go anywhere or have people over or anything else. Everywhere I look I am reminded of what I've lost this year and what I'm in danger of losing, and I am honestly not handling any of it well. I am feeling completely selfish and whiny and would quite prefer to go curl up in a fetal position under my bed for the next two weeks. Actually what I want is to go up to some cabin somewhere remote and just hide from the world for a while.
Not a possibility.
I hate impossible things.
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